How can I control my anger?
This is what works for me. After incorporating meditation as part of my life for the past 3 years, I’ve seen incredible reduction in the amount of anger within. I looked back at journals I’ve kept since early meditation years to try to map the progression of changes as below:
Before starting meditation: I would get angry and flare up very easily. The smallest of things will make me irritated and angry. And by the time I was done flaring up, people were already hurt by my words and actions. This happened at home and at work.
After 1 year meditating: I still get triggered but the anger subsided within a few hours with me being able to say sorry to the person I’ve taken my anger out on.
After 2 years meditating: My anger bouts reduced so much. I didn’t write down that many angry moments in journals anymore. I don’t get triggered as easily. Irritation however, was still lurking around.
After 3 years meditating till today: I can notice irritation and anger before I even respond. This helps me remain calm and helps me naturally adjust my speech and actions to be more tactful in the situation. Soon after within the day, I reflect on why I was irritated, upset or angry, write it down in my journal and then discard it via the meditation. The next day, if I had to retell the situation to someone, there isn’t much emotion. The feeling from yesterday had dissipated completely.
The transformation has been absolutely amazing. I too did not realize just how much anger went away until I looked back on my journals to write this post.
So, if I can summarize a few tips to reduce anger, it would be:
1. Don’t let it accumulate. Let it out
The more we suppress, the more it accumulates.
2. Find outlets that work for you
Different things work for different people. So try as many things as possible. For me, I have a combination of:
- Punching air till exhausted
- Running till exhausted
- Writing it down in a diary
- Talking to my brother (he’s a great listener) 😊
- Getting enough sleep, consistently
3. Eliminate the source of anger
Anger doesn’t come from nowhere. It comes from the habits and life lived.
Although I did points 1 and 2 a lot later in life that helped to a certain degree – the real, lasting change came (as written above) when I started to get rid of the source of anger via the meditation. It is also important for me to say that the meditation that I do – is not about suppressing or controlling. Rather, it is about reflecting and actively discarding the habits and life lived – the source of anger. This is what truly helped me in the long run.
I really hope this can help you. And do know that I’m cheering you on. I’m also dropping this video which encapsulates what I’ve been trying to explain. Really hope it helps. Thank you! 💛