I have everything I thought I wanted, and I’m still not happy. Why?
During my childhood, I believed being an adult would bring me happiness.
In my 20s, I imagined my mind would be happier and more stable in my 30s.
I thought I would be happier if I had grown a little taller.
I thought being a little smarter would make me happier.
My conceptions of happiness did not bring me happiness.
I looked around me. People who had a lot more than me were not happy and were hoping for more. Instead, I observed some people who lived in less favorable conditions were happier.
I also believed that my past regrets, mistakes, and wounds would prevent me from being happy. However, I could not escape them.
In meditation practice, I was able to look back and empty myself and my life, and find freedom.
Since I made up images of my mind throughout my life, my mind became lighter as I threw them away. I also had many images about the future, since the past, present, and future are all interconnected in a person’s mind. Having the future in mind turned into desires and made me pursue happiness.
All things I wanted and what I achieved were illusions in my mind. It was also an illusion I created in my mind about myself with that desire. Since I chased illusions, there was no fulfillment.
On the meditation journey, I learned how much I was not living this moment.
When I was washing the dishes, I hoped it would end soon and rest, so my mind was already a few minutes ahead.
Even when I was working, I believed that I would be happier to rest afterward, so my mind was already at the end of the day.
I couldn’t be satisfied with the present because I always thought of a better future subconsciously. I realized it and abandoned the delusions. As I did that, the only Truth that had no past, present, or future remained in me, and I could focus on what I was doing.
When there is only one mind, the mind of Truth within me, then life is absolute happiness.
I’m grateful since what I’m doing right now is everything, I can’t create a desire for it. Naturally, I stopped comparing myself to others and truly understood their distinct characteristics and roles. Therefore, I realized that we are one because each person has their own unique value.
Focusing on, appreciating, and living today, not pursuing desires, has given me a better life.
Finding your true mind is the key to happiness. Anyone can now easily find their original mind that is always satisfied and lacks nothing.