How can I control the chaos inside?
I was always an anxious child, but the real suffering started when I was at the university. At the age of 20, my mind suddenly became very chaotic. Perhaps this was due to the fact that I now had to take care of myself and make my own decisions. I found myself living in total suffering with millions of thoughts, deep feelings of anxiety and sadness. It was crazy.
I wanted it to stop, but didn’t know what to do. Back then, mental health was not so much talked about and seeing a psychologist was too big of a step, at least for me. Instead, I quietly endured and hoped that my situation eventually would get better.
When I became older I finally went to see a psychologist. I went on a weekly basis for almost a year. It was very expensive but what could be more important than a healthy mind? I learnt some tricks, and I think I matured from just having someone to talk to about my situation. However, it didn’t really make me feel any better. My internal chaos persisted.
It wasn’t until I found meditation that I was able to start getting rid of the chaos. My life is now much better on many levels. It’s finally peaceful inside.
Why chaos can’t be controlled
When we are faced with a chaotic mind, we often try to control it. By ‘controlling’, I mean that we try to stop or shove away the negative thoughts, or try to force ourselves to think positively or in a certain way. However, it is not possible to be successful with these tactics. It only makes the mind heavy and burdened. It doesn’t lead to betterment in the long run because it doesn’t deal with the root cause of the problem.
Inferiority complex is the root cause of a chaotic mind
The root cause of the chaos inside is an inferiority complex deeply imbedded in our mind. This inferiority complex is a mass of thoughts and emotions in our psyche that essentially tells us that we are not good enough and that we need to be better. This inner conflict is the driving force behind the chaos and turmoil in us.
The content of the chaos differs from person to person.
- For some people, the chaos revolves around the painful dichotomy between what I am (current state of mind, mental and physical capacity, etc.) and what I want to be (my ideal image). The inferiority complex feeds negative thoughts and emotions in this area, and they turn into a constant stress, grief, frustration, or anger.
- For others, their chaos might be centered around outer events or people. However the inferiority complex is still the culprit here. Because of it, they might direct their misfortune in life on people who treated them badly or hurt their feelings. They ruminate on such events; it is like a vicious cycle of blame. Their mind doesn’t have capacity to see beyond the hurt feelings; they are too weak to muster the strength to move on. I’ve found that this is particularly often the case for people who seek something from others, such as love, appreciation, support, money or security. Such wants (lack-based thinking) is a type of greed that turns you into a victim, and it is also derived from the inferiority complex.
- For yet another group of people, the content of their thoughts and feelings may be more random. They might have difficulties concentrating or they constantly space out. This can happen because they want many things and simply can’t find the peace to focus on only one thing. Another reason could be that they have something in their mind that they avoid seeing or dealing with. These things are also ultimately due to inferiority.
Getting to the root of the problem with meditation
If we destroy the inferiority complex in our mind, there won’t be anything left to feed the chaotic thoughts inside. When the root cause disappears, we will be free and our mind will be at peace. This is the permanent solution, which can be achieved through meditation.
The main aspects of meditation are: (i) introspection, and (ii) letting go/discarding.
Through the meditation we become aware of what we have in our mind and let it go. We start to see how the inferiority complex drives our thoughts and emotional chaos, and we become able to gradually break it and release it from our mind.
Meditation means to get rid of the false self and find the true self within so that we can live a true life. The false self is merely an image that resides in each person’s mind. It is upheld by a deep-rooted inferiority complex. When this inferiority complex is discarded, the false image will collapse. When this happens, our true self emerges from within. This true self has no inferiority, no thoughts, no chaos. It is just the peaceful empty mind. When living with the true mind, we live a life of wisdom and happiness.
People who meditate go through the most remarkable change. I’ve seen numerous people who used to be nervous wrecks, but now are calm, humble, and emit a quiet grace. Also for me, the pain and chaos inside have disappeared. I know that it is gone forever because my mind has completely changed. The driving inferiority mechanism is gone to the degree it doesn’t feed negativity anymore. So, even if I were to try to think chaotic thoughts, or stir up unrest and disharmony within, I wouldn’t be able to. For me meditation has been a life-saver.
Thank you for reading! I hope everyone suffering from chaos inside tries out meditation. Please take a minute and check out the video below.