What can I do to improve myself every day?
By journaling every day, I became aware of my laziness and procrastination habits. Through meditation, I was able to let go of these habits.
Every Wednesday, I participate in a very important meeting. The purpose of this meeting is to plan a meditation class that students can enjoy during class time. The work that requires creativity and patience on a Wednesday morning makes me tired. To get the flashing ideas inside, I use my brain a lot. I have a high-calorie lunch after the meeting and then I rest.
I promise myself that on the weekends I will research my class. However, on weekends I am very busy doing outdoor activities with my family. After the weekend ends, I get depressed on Sunday night. Mondays are cluttered with my kids’ work, and then there is Wednesday morning. This pattern was repeated for several months.
Initially, I was motivated to do something to help students, but gradually it became a burden. I felt the urge to run away. Procrastination was a habit that continued into my 20s and 30s and even into my mid-40s.
However, I have recently been reflecting on my bad habits by keeping a journal every day. And through meditation, I released my mind bound to procrastination.
This is how I have changed.
I have a list of things I need to do at the end of the meeting. I eat lunch after the meeting to replenish my energy. I then go back to my desk and begin with the easiest tasks. After I have completed the task, I mark it in red. I am happy and proud of myself at this point.
There are still difficult tasks to accomplish. Focus and time are needed to accomplish them. You can’t get great results all at once. The contents of the class I made may be criticized by fellow teachers, or the class activity may not be adopted. However, rather than waiting anxiously for the next meeting without trying it, it is better to try it first. When I had an unperfect class like this, my colleagues always helped me. Through experience, I have learned that great results are not made by oneself, but by working together.
Eventually, I understood that no matter what I had to do, I had to be happy and willing to accomplish it. Have you ever quit your job and run away? How did you feel? Did you feel bad? I was depressed, angry, resentful, and feeling guilty. By meditating, I let go of the negative thoughts I experienced when I turned away from what I was supposed to do. And I am doing my best in what I am doing with a positive mind and courage, free from a negative and lazy mind.
Possibly 2022 will be the end of the long and dark tunnel we are all going through together. Since the pandemic, I have been removing and throwing away trash from my mind every day. At the end of this tunnel, I can see a bright future awaiting us. You should prepare yourself as well. If your mind is clear and light, you will be able to soar at the end of the tunnel.